Mike's Corner

1. Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."

2. If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base.

3. I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, "Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west."

4. If life were fair, Elvis would be alive, and all the impersonators would be dead.

5. "Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same". -Oscar Wilde

6. Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken. -Unknown, presumed deceased